Had a good few days of rest, two great weddings on friday and saturday. It's been really helpful to see my friends in sheffield and talk about what's been going on in my heart while in Napa. Feel a lot calmer although I know I'm part way through a process of healing, and my mind is still on the mission in napa. Here's a poem speaking of sleepless nights:
Heart sick, an island in the sea of sleep,
a cleft in my heart exposed,
broken, nerves beating,
my resolve to confess is separated by a channel of sleep, will I cross it?
Will I make it? not I
No, not I can make it.
More dislodged the Iceberg dissolves
floating directionless, lapping
worries touch the side of this coracle of limbo,
take me away with you spirit of wind and waves,
blow me to this land of freedom,
the land of day,
Where my sleep is sounded,
my heart is carried,
where your love resounds,
This silence is killing me,
this waiting is dying,
when will I find your home?
Comforter you are my hope,
The emptiness of my hunger yearns,
where will I find a meal?
you set a picnic before me,
you restore my soul.
The beach is calling "Come have breakfast with me"
"Come eat and be filled".